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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Fool

I have an ulcer on my tongue. And one on the inside of my left cheek. The deadly spawn of stress and dehydration.

Now when I talk, I sound like the deadly spawn of Donald Duck and a Sylvester Stallone, lisping through my teeth, omitting consonants or changing them to 'W's.

"Hewwo. Howwah you feewing today?"

"Tay sthome deep bwefs in pweez."

Sound like a fool.

One of my patients actually tried to sniff my breath, you know, to see if I was inebriated. I feel very sorry for her, because I hadn't drunk any water for 6 hours, so my breath was highly poisonous at that stage.

Heh heh heh.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't practise anymore, but here is something that I remember from my pre-reg days in a HIV team. My consultant said that CMV ulcers look like ordinary ulcers, hard to tell with naked eye.

The female HIV consultant in London is v famous and a real b*tch to work for so you can imagine the stress levels. So there we were, me, the SHO and the reg, having dinner that on-call evening. We all happened to also have mouth ulcers and were commiserating with each other when collectively, our minds recalled what boss said, eew!

umami
http://umami.typepad.com/

10:47 am  
Anonymous teacup said...

ah, poisonous breath. i pity your patient! and i miss the UK so, so, so much.

10:49 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women's breaths should always never be poisonous. - D W

2:48 pm  
Blogger tscd said...

umami: Argh! I do not have the CMV! Arrgh!

teacup: Pity my patient?! What about poor, dehydrated me?!

D W: Yes yes, and ladies secrete rose or lavender scented sweat only, and when we have periods, we should dig holes in the ground to hide ourselves away in shame!

4:34 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, men's breaths are much worse and ladies' poisonous breath (even if it was a result of going 6 hours without water) should not be as potent as men's. - D W

4:56 pm  

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