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Monday, January 09, 2006

Waiting for...what?

I often feel like I'm living for the evenings or weekends that I spend with MDH. In between those sporadic moments, I'm waiting.

It's the sort of feeling that one gets whilst sitting in a train, travelling from one destination to another. Where the mind goes blank and everything outside blurs and flashes by the window. I'm waiting for something, for something to happen, or for something to change.

I think I've been waiting a long time. At least, it feels like a long time.

But I'm not entirely sure what I'm waiting for. I want to say that I'm waiting "for my life to begin". But I'm not even sure what that means. Additionally, that sort of statement implies that I'm not living at present, and I surely am...I think.

I wonder how long this will last.


Blogger Zak said...

Hi! I'm such a fan. Of the blog that is...:) You know the feeling you get when there is something that you're just supposed to do but have not done and it bugs you? I get that when I have not read you for the day.
And I absolutely know the feeling of waiting for your MDH. Mine works terribly long hours. At times, I hardly get to see him. The time spent with him is simply precious to me that sometimes i feel a tad mean when he comes home beat but I demand attention from him and expects him to muster any form of energy he can to attend to my antics....
But like you say, I too feel like I'm living for those moments spent with him and that the time in between is where i simply just go thru the motions....

9:02 am  
Blogger angry doc said...

You watched that movie "Unbreakable"?

Remember the bit when Bruce Willis said he woke up every morning feeling sad because he just knew he wasn't doing what he was meant to do?

Maybe you are a super-hero too!

5:47 pm  
Blogger tscd said...

zak: You are so sweet! Thanks for the affirmation. :) Yes, the time I spend with MDH is often when I feel the most alive.

angry doc: Yes, I often feel that way nowadays. Maybe I should go down to the basement and pump iron.

5:56 pm  

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