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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Conversation

We are sitting together on our bed. It's a bright morning, and we are both recovering from a heavy weekend of long shifts so we've decided to take our time getting up. I am curled into a ball, face half-buried in my pillow, and MDH is sitting up, looking out of the window.

MDH: I was thinking yesterday that it would be really wonderful to have a baby. I think I will be ready for one soon.

TSCD: (suddenly wide awake) What? What?

MDH: Yes. I was just thinking.

TSCD: What? What? (gesticulates wildly)

MDH: I've seen how you look at children. I've seen your face when you read about other people's children. I know when you're thinking about it. I've seen that look.

TSCD: What what what d'ya mean? What look? There's no look! I mean, so what? I mean, that's not the point!

MDH: Anyway, I just thought, yeah, that it would be okay. I'm not saying I want children right now, but the idea doesn't upset me, and if we decided to have kids soon, well, it would be okay.

TSCD: How soon is soon?

MDH: One and a half, maybe two years? Hopefully we'd have steady jobs by then...

TSCD: And a house.

MDH: And a house.

TSCD: (silence)

MDH: I just wanted you to know that if it would be okay with me. I'd be very happy. Really happy.

TSCD: Really?

MDH: Really.

TSCD: (silence)

7 Comments:

Blogger jadeite said...

*uncertain*
Is...is that bad?

By the time I'm 31, 32 I want to have kids. Of course, job and house must be present :D

12:18 am  
Blogger ketsugi said...

My girlfriend has informed me in no uncertain terms that (among others) she wants an Indian baby, a Japanese baby, a Caucasian baby...

If we get married I have a feeling I'll be getting familiar with adoption procedures...

12:49 am  
Anonymous a l said...

can i saw awww?

trust God, pray, and be ready. =)

11:16 am  
Anonymous mrs budak said...

I love to play with other people's babies, and so does budak. We visit parenting websites and coo over cute baby pictures, and we always check out prams whenever they come into view. But having our own is a different game.

Both of us agreed that we will never have children (unless accidents happen, but the vasectomy should have seen to that - hopefully). We don't hate children; it's never about loving or hating children. It's about taking on the responsibility of bringing up a child, and we're not prepared to do that.

We love babies. But we cannot deal with children when they grow out of their baby stage. We love to play with our friend's children, but we can't deal with having to discipline them, care for them, worry about them on a full-time basis. I guess we saw the reality of parenting, beyond those "Kodak Moments", and decided we want no part of it.

But I believe that you would have thought about it seriously. When the time comes, good luck :)

4:23 pm  
Blogger Mr Wang Says So said...

I love babies! I told Mrs Wang recently, "When shall we have No. 3?". Unfortunately, she gave me the horrified look.

Mrs Budak talks about the "reality of parenting". Well, there is also the "reality of non-parenting", if you know what I mean. There is a fundamental human experience that you have missed out on, if you will never be a parent.

7:04 am  
Blogger budak said...

Mr Wang,
Rest assured we have weighed and wept over our decision regarding children. I hope you do not begrudge our declining of a life experience that many find rewarding.

tscd,
you and MDH make a great couple and I hope you find fulfilment in whatever plans you decide together.

10:47 am  
Blogger tscd said...

jadeite: No, it's not. I was just surprised to learn that he had been thinking about it. I had no idea.

ketsugi: Remind her that she won't be able to breastfeed if she adopts. Breastfeeding is a big deal to new mothers.

a.l.: thanks.

mrs budak: Yes, having children is a big responsibility, but it is one that we are willing to take on - but not at this precise time. I know that with the nomadic lifestyle that we are leading at the moment is totally unsuitable. We have alot more things to consider - but we already know that we will be having children...it's a matter of deciding when.

mr wang: Well, MDH and I want to spend more time along together, strengthening our own relationship first, before embarking on the next stage of marriage. We're not rushing.

budak: thanks for the vote of confidence!

5:13 am  

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