Fun with the elderly

Mrs C, 83, Found collapsed at home:
"Am I in hospital? Good heavens. I've only got my second best teeth in today."

Mr K, 94, Swollen right calf:
"Blood in the urine? Oh yes, I have blood in the water all the time. Isn't that normal?"

Ms F, 80, Inebriated, recurrent falls:
"I don't drink, ever. Never touched a drop in my life. Except for Guinness."

Mr P, 79, Abdominal discomfort and urinary incontinence:
"Gerroff me! Gerroff me! I'll tell on you! Gerroff!"