Outer calm - Inner Stress

Prancing into the A&E department, I arrive at the same time as one of the other junior doctors. We are both starting the shift together.

I have chosen to pull my hair back in a tight ponytail - instant facelift and frozen grin. I feel ghastly though, having had a very long and eventful shift on the previous day which led to my having a very long and sleepless night. The other junior doctor has chosen to accessorise herself this morning with a ghostly grimace. She looks exactly how I feel - Totally Washed Out.

The middle grade doctor peeks round the door of the staff room, where the two of us are bracing ourselves for the Friday Morning Rush with cups of tea fortified with extra sugar. He flashes me a smile and tells me to start my shift in the resuscitation room. He turns to the other doctor, pats her on the back and says, "Well, I heard that the night shift was pretty tough - you should be getting on home soon..."

I quickly duck out of sight, so as to avoid the flying daggers.

Man, if I tried to look exactly how I felt sometimes...my patients would die from the horror of it all.