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Friday, February 17, 2006

Why the doctor doesn't appear to care (I)

Why the doctor doesn't appear care when you come in the A&E with...

Abdominal Pains

Because:

1. Despite your pain, you were still able to play football and then go on a pub crawl with your friends and drink yourself into a giggling stupor. Go have your hangover at a friend's place.

2. You are thrashing around on your trolley and screaming. People with really serious abdominal pains lie rigid and still.

3. You have had several episodes of diarrhoea and vomiting after eating some half-cooked kebabs that you found at the back of the fridge. Ugh.

4. You refuse pain relief. What a stoic. Why don't you just stay at home, then?

5. You smoked a few marijuana joints this afternoon. Get lost, you junkie.

6. You don't appear to notice the pain when we're talking to you whilst feeling your abdomen. Get a clue, Drama mama.

7. You've consulted Dr MSN and Dr Google and you're utterly convinced you have a rare condition that Dr Obscura wrote about in his 1633 case report.

8. You're constipated because you never eat vegetables. Buy some Fybogel, then.

9. Your acupuncture nurse advised you to come to hospital because he's decided that you are deficient in selenium. Maybe your acupuncture nurse should treat your selenium deficiency himself.

10. You've just had a dinner consisting of 1 grilled steak, 3 chicken pies, 2 jacket potatoes topped with cheese and baked beans, 1 chocolate torte, half a swiss roll and 5, maybe 6 pints of lager. The pains started when you tucked into your second helping of trifle. Well, that'll learn you.

3 Comments:

Blogger budak said...

Are such yobs common in the UK?

9:32 am  
Blogger Tym said...

budak > I think they are common everywhere. I used to have zero sympathy for certain female students who mysteriously developed PMS symptoms when it was time for NAPFA training/tests.

4:44 pm  
Blogger tscd said...

budak: Yes. I believe they are equally common in Singapore - except that I understand Singapore doctors often give in and prescribe antibiotics or give 'vitamin injections'.

tym: Wah. If they have PMS then they should do their NAPFA test - exercise generally helps menstrual symptoms. Heh heh heh.

11:34 pm  

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