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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bleeping Bleeps

Shift starts at 2100. On-call bleep collected from day shift SHO.

Bleep record as follows -
2105: Ward G1 - organise central line insertion for patient. Please prescribe more fluids.
2107: Ward G2 - new patient on the ward needs clerking, more fluids please, drug charts need reviewing
2112: Ward L - Mr D pulled out venflon, needs a new one, more fluids please
2115: Ward K - rewrite drug charts and prescribe more fluids
2232: Ward G1 - patient fallen out of bed, please fill in an incident form and review him and we need more fluids writing up.
2245: Ward L - Mr D pulled out venflon again, needs a new one, please rewrite drug charts.
2253: Ward G2 - Please prescribe some antiemetics and analgesia for our patients. Mr G is complaining about his methadone regime, can you please reason with him?
2301: Ward L - Mr D pulled out venflon yet again, needs a new one
2312: HDU - Mr C is confused and agitated, please come and sedate him before he yanks out his arterial line. Oh yes, and we need more fluids writing up.
0009: Ward G1 - repeat clotting screen on patient for central line insertion
0016: Ward L - Mr D has fallen over and his venflon is out (again), please fill in an incident form
0023: Ward K - 2 patients now acutely short of breath, please review them
0100: Ward H - Doctor Ward H has gone home sick, can you please take the bleep from her and cover her 4 wards thankyouverymuch.
0112: Ward E2 - Patient vomiting blood come NOW!
0113: Ward H - Three new patients have arrived, they need to be clerked in.

0114: Ward E1 - Mr A's oxygen saturations are dropping, can we increase his oxygen?
0212: Ward G1 - Patient complaining of chest pain
0248: Ward G2 - Patient having a fever
0259: Ward L - Mr D is settled now, thought you'd like to know
0303: Ward G1 - Patient's chest Xray is available for review
0315: Ward K - Patients' chest Xrays are available for review
0344: Ward E2 - Patient pulled out nasogastric tube, needs a new one, and there's an abdo Xray that needs looking at
0450: Doctor Ward B- Things are quiet for me so I can take the extra bleep off you, meet you in 10 minutes!
0455: Doctor Ward B- Scratch that, things have just gone crap on my end. Knew I shouldn't have said the 'Q' word
0511: CARDIAC ARREST WARD B CARDIAC ARREST WARD B
0623: Ward E1 - Don't forget repeat arterial blood gases on Mr A and his blood results are back
0745: Doctor Ward B -Breakfast time, see you in the canteen in 10 minutes!
0752: Doctor Ward B - Scratch that, make it 20 minutes, I have to go to Ward C first.
0805: CARDIAC ARREST WARD C CARDIAC ARREST WARD C
0935: Day Doctor - Sorry I'm late! Where are you?

3 Comments:

Anonymous ray said...

I know it's cruel, but the last line elicited an involuntary snort of laughter. I dampened it immediately, of course. Of course.

2:45 am  
Anonymous dr. bean said...

Ah! too real. Do Brits do daylight savings time? That extra hour between 2 and 3 am...

10:50 am  
Blogger tscd said...

ray: Well, the day doctor melted away after I incinerated him with a Look Of Doom.

dr. bean: yeah, we do daylight savings time here. When the clock goes back that one hour at midnight, you can hear the collective groan resonating through the corridors.

4:16 pm  

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